Catholic Schools week

Catholic schools week came and went. it was so busy and crazy that it was hard to remember everything that happened. Bella was sick so naturally she missed most of it. I juggled her being sick with working. Of course classes were all different and sickness was running around school, so it was some fun time. LOL

Roller skating on friday

The staff team for the volleyball team... We won!

Max didn't last long as it was too loud for him

POMS preformed

We went to a friends birthday party and got to ride in a fire truck

Aunt Diane came to see Bella perform . we also got to have lunch with her.

Bella did a reading at Sunday Mass

PJ day at school. The boys were having fun

an hour later she would be burning up with a fever. :(

My poor sick little girl

Getting ready for farmer day.. just like daddy

Doesn't he look just like his daddy :)

Just a random cute picture.. Carmel not sure what to make of the chickens

Thursday the fever broke and she finally started to act like Bella again. she was still stuck in her room, so lucky she had gotten a craft kit in the mail that day. 

So yah that thing happened

Beginning of February our lives changed and not for the better. Josh had some issues with his drains which led to us finding out that the tumor was taking over and hospices was our only choice. His time left with us was down to weeks. Our lives were turned upside down. Josh was pretty miserable the last month, but tried to put on a good face for the kids. It was so hard for me to turn over the care of him to someone else and knowing that i couldn't make it better for him. We put on hold any plans of doing things other then just being a family. We had some family come to help out, i stopped working and focused on doctor's appointments, nurse visits, shuttling the kids around and learning about hospice life.
there has been so much since i last updated. I want to try to remember some of it, but since it's almost May, i know i will have forgotten.  I have a few separate post to make about big events like Bella's first Communion, family pictures, our trip to florida and our lives since Josh passed away.
Thank you to those who have bared with me..i haven't forgotten this blog.

So the Josh earned himself a three day hospital stay, we got a "blizzard" so i stayed up at the hospital with him while my mom held down the fort with the kids. it was Catholic schools week so bella had fun dressing up. Josh then spent what Good time he had with the kids, building things, playing games or watching movies.

Western day

Watching a movie together

Roller skating with my girl

Poms performace

Flowers from my sweet heart

Playdough fun

Back to the crazy

Going back to work and school was rough. All four of us enjoy the time we had off and being off. No alarms, no early moving, no rushing to and fro, no homework  or work.  Monday was a long day and can't really remember what happened. My mom took the kids overnight bcause josh had to be at the hospital early the next morning. This worked out since Josh was pretty miserable and i'll admit things got a bit hairy.  

Tuesday we got up early to be at the hospital by 830am. Josh needed blood work too which we didnt' make it to the lab in time so that meant they had to draw it in IR. The nurse we had coudln't get an iv and left Josh with two bruises before he got another nurse. The drain change went well though. the only thing was Josh was really tired through it all. WE think we figured out why, one of his pills, but still it made for a long day. 

 

The lion by the cafeteria 

came home to kid who were playing so well together.

Wednesday was crazy busy. Josh was still feeling so so after his drain change, he still has added fluid and back pain. Neither are related to the drain change.  Max has speech in the morning,which he did really good at. Josh and I ran to the grocery store, which i thought would go faster, but actually it was slower with Josh along. Poor Guy can't walk as fast anymore. Picked up Max and headed home. Then so Josh could get some rest, i took Max into school with me. that was fun. He's not a fan of the sitting down and "resting" like the other kids who just had school for 3.5 hours. But once it's playtime he's all good. Josh came to get the kids around 4 and took them home so they weren't at school the whole time. 

cuddling with mama at school

outside playing with real snow

inside playing with pretend snow

Thursday was suppose to be a good day since i was off work. Josh and i were going to go to church and then i was going to get stuff done . finally we would finish up with family time. 

Well none of that happened... Instead Josh couldn't keep anything down, so i went to church alone. Max was in school and Bella's class was in charge of Mass with the 8th graders. Bella got to bring up the gifts. She just loves having a "job" during Mass. I went to coffee with the girls , which was so good for the soul, but that was cut short when Josh said he couldn't keep anything down and the clinic said to come in anytime. So i called my mom to pick up Max from school, and i spent the rest of the morning/afternoon with Josh at the clinic getting fluids. He was feeling a bit better after that. We think he had a 24 hour stomach bug that was going around school. Bella had Poms practice so I went to pick up Max from my mom's then headed to school to get Bella.  it was a crazy busy day one that i was glad when i could go to bed, but i feel like i probaby didnt' sleep well. 

presenting the gifts

playing with daddy

Friday josh was a little bit better, but not 100%. I had to work and he kept max. Max did have speech were we found out he can do the 't' sound, which is important. He's making great improvements and hoping by kindergarten he no longer needs speech. 

Other then that I can't remember what all happened. 

Painting their gifts from Aunt Rachel and uncle joel. 

little moments

This week i've really tried to focus on the little things and family time. Monday was rough. Josh started his new chemo but still wasn't feeling very good. when he's miserable it's hard to remember the little things.  Bella came down with the cold Max had so she stayed home from school. This was tricky because i didn't want Josh to get the germs, but i had to work. So I spend the morning cleaning and degerming the place. the kids hung out in thier bedroom while Josh rested in the living room. My mom came over in the evening to grab Bella's homework and to watch the kids while Josh went to the chiropractor.  I got home and decided on a movie night, which was peaceful and relaxing. WE also have been doing more reading of books at night too. 

Tuesday was like a new day, Bella and max both went to school.  I have no idea what Josh and I did. I know Josh was kind of miserable with new problems. Max wasn't happy to get picked up from school, but that's not new. We also finally got to the post office to get stamps for my Christmas cards. Max wouldn't nap, but i got xmas stuff organized so that i could take some of it to m mom's since we have very limited space to store gifts. WE got a call from school that Bella wasn't feeling good, so Josh went to get her and i took Max to the doctors to make sure he didn't have an ear infection. Poor boy is totally not sleeping, which is making life rough. He checked out ok, and Bella made a full recovery before Josh even got to her.  Because the kids were sick we didn't go to Gilda's, so we decided to do a bath and game night. We got out Thin ice, a game i played as a kid. The kids had so much fun playing it. I love being able to play games iwth the kids these days. 

Wednesday was a busy day. Josh has labs in the morning, Bella had school and Max had speech. Max is doing great in speech. He's able to go now with out me or Josh being with him. So i ran to the grocery story to get some foods for Josh. He needs extra potassium, so i picked some up for him, then headed back to get Max. We got Joshs' labs back and his labs looked great. So far he's gone three weeks without his drain bags on . We have a feeling next week he will need to put them back on, but a month is great to go without them. Also proof that it was the chemo that caused most of the problems before. Work went well, i got caught up on stuff that i needed. The day off apprently put me behind. Josh's aunt Micki came to help out , so Josh was able to get a nap and Max got to have fun playig outside. Because Josh got some sleep, he came to pick up Bella.  She got her homework done so we got to relax as a family once i got home.  It's nice to have time to read books or play games before bed. 

Thursday was another school day for both kids. I went to my mom's right after i dropped the kids off. I helped her clean up and organize her place so that she can have Christmas for my family this year. we managed to get the toy room cleaned up really nice and all organized.. dreading my kids visiting and messing it all up. lol  We got done in time so i could meet up with Josh and Max for lunch. We had lunch and then headed home  for rest time. Both of the boys got a rest in. I worked on laundry and picking up as we waiting to leave to go get Bella. She had poms practice until 5. I was bummed about that because i wanted to spend the afternoon with the kids and she was at school. We got home and had supper then we played kings corners and read books. It was just a fun relaxing time. 

Friday was the end of hte week, and i totally needed it to be done. It was a long and rough day at work, then i got home to Josh not feeling well. I think the chemo is catching up with him. Only a few more days left, but not sure what those days will bring. Totally dreading the next doctor's visit. Once i got home from work we were just done for the day. Josh has taken the cows earlier in the day to a friends farm to get bred by his bull, so we are down two animals for three weeks. The kids did a lot of playing and bath time. Both kids were asleep by 815pm. I wish Josh and i would have been too, but it was a rough night for him. 

This holiday season is not turning out like i had hoped, but  i'm trying to look for the little moments that we are all together. While i hope that we will do more holiday stuff, some snow would help, i just want memories to be good and not bad. It's taken me while to get to this point.  We have more fun holiday things coming up and hoping Josh feels well enough to attend them all.