A lost month

The Month of October was a rough one. I wish it was just because we were so busy, but it was really emotional. It wouldn't seem that Halloween would be a big emtional "first" but i realized how much that Josh was part of the halloween festivites.
The first holiday that Josh and I celebrated together was Halloween. Also has a farmer it was one of our busiest times on the farm.We would spend a lot of time in the tractors or combine.
It's also been a very busy time at school. The kids both had field trips. Something that Josh was never able to do with Max. The one trip that Max had last year Josh was stuck working, always thinking he would be able to go another time. That never happen. Never assume there will be another time.  Bella had a field trip and i was able to go. I'm so lucky of my flexible schedule at school.  We also had parent teacher conferences. They both went well, and i'm so lucky that my kids are right on for where they need to be in school.  Not being able to share that was hard.
Things with the house are not going as fast i had hoped. Mother nature has not been our friend. I"ll try to update that next.
We had a family gathering and it was hard.. A lot of the family wasn't able to make it so it was just a small group. We did our normal visit to Stonefield, but it was lack luster without Josh. He always took the kids into the decorated places as i don't like people dressed up. I think Max really missed his daddy, as he didn't want anything to do with trick or treating. I think Josh was his safety and without that he was too afraid. 
At the beginning of hte month we lost Poppy. That was hard. The funeral was just not something that i wanted to do. It brought back a lot of feelings and left me feeling pretty unsure of a lot of things.  He will be greatly missed.
We had some good things happen... Lily the cow had her calf, Cubbie. He's the cutest little thing, but lily had a rough go after he was born and before, so that will be her last calf. It's too hard to do with out Josh and I just don't have the time to add another worry to my plate. We are happy to have Cubbie though.
The craziness of the new school year has settled down and we have gotten into a routine, which is nice. All the stress has left me feeling like i don't really know where i belong. I struggle with friendships and family. I'm trying to reach out more,but i don't know to who or how. I struggle with everything at home that needs to be done along with all the maintenance for everything outside. I miss having a handy man around. Sometimes i wonder if i've gotten in over my head, but not sure what to do get above it all.  I pray that things will turn around, though i have a feeling a lot of struggle will be going on as we journey through the last of the "firsts" in the coming months.
My one goal is to keep the blog up to date, as I love to post what i'm thankful for and about PC awareness in November.  I know this i a recorded of our lives and i need to show the kids that even in bad times there were good times.

So my first thankful post is I'm thankful for this blog and having this outlet to get my feelings out.

Now you can enjoy a few pictures that i've taken with my camera. I hope to update with cellphone phones in another post.

My little digger

Otis the Tractor

At Eberts to celebrate Reed's birthday

Joe Pumpkin.. A shirt that his cousins wore and sister

Cutest little fisherman

Stonefield with Aunt Kara, Uncle Tony, Aunt Kim, Uncle Jeremy and Xander

Only pumpkin scene picture taken this year. :(

Carving Pumpkins

Thankful Round up

Thankful for short work weeks. This week I only have to work today. I don’t get vacation days that I pick, only when school is off, so it’s nice when vacation days come

Day 24

Thankful that we found a hospital that can best fit Josh’s needs. For once we had a morning appointment for Josh’s drains to be changed. We are  lucky we are in a skilled place that can handle the drains in a quick and prompted matter. Though the changed didn’t go as planned, we know it’s the best place for us and this stupid tumor!

Day 25

I’m thankful for simple days with the family. Josh wasn’t feeling too well, so we had a laid back day of just playing at home. We rounded out the day with going to the Peanuts movie with the kids. It was so much fun to go with them and see how much fun they have watching the movie on the big screen.

Day 26

I’m thankful for having thanksgiving and a day to give thanks! We didn’t do much, but in a way it is how it should be. A day to reflect and just be with family. We are so lucky to live in the US and had those first pilgrims not come to America and made friends with the the native Americans, I’m not sure what our lives would be like today

Day 27

Thankful for the nurses and doctors that handle our family. Josh needed to go back to the hospital and we were greeted by nurses and doctors that we know and know us. while we don’t want to be at the hospital it’s nice to have faces we know and trust. They also tend to get you in and out quickly too.

Day 28

thankful for the internet. I’m glad that in this day in age I’m able to shop from home, keep in touch with friends and family who live far away and use it for entertainment. We are pretty lucky to have this privilege as not everyone does and it’s totally something I take for granted. I was able to shop at home and then Bella and I went out to the store to get the items. Together we had a girls day of shopping where she bought gifts for a few people with her own money. Im very proud of her taking the time to pick something out for them and buying it.

Day 29

Thankful for my life. Sunday is often a day of reflection because we go to church. I love that I can go to church leave my problems there and somehow things work out. We were so lucky for that little things happen to solve some of my worries. They aren’t perment fixes but enough to keep me going.  There are so many that aren’t able to even have these worries or the joys that I do experience as a living person..so I’m thankful for my many days on this earth.

Day 30

Thankful for my wonderful nieces and nephews. Today my oldest niece turns 18! I can still remember getting the call in the wee hours of the night to find out she was born. Then I got to skip school to go meet her! She’s was like having a  little sister. It’s hard to belive she’s already an adult!  I have two other wonderful nieces and two, almost three, nephews. Some are by blood and some by marriage but I love htem all the same. I’m lucky to have them and watch them grow!

Day 22-Max’s party

Today I’m thankful for those who were able to join us for Max’s party. He was lucky to feel loved by so many family members.