The Swing

So this weekend I had a swing break on me. Granted it was an old and rotten one, but it was pretty heartbreaking.
When I was a little girl, my grandma had a swing outside of her house. Her house wasn't the greatest so i didn't like being inside of it, so i would play outside. It was all there was in the yard, so i spent a lot of time with it. When she passed away, my mom got the swing. I always loved that swing and longed to have one when i got older. There is just something so relaxing about sitting on a porch rocking on an old wooden swing.
The old wooden swing i loved and probably used almost as much as my swing set. My mom would move it around the yard but somehow it always seemed to be in the backyard where i could look up at the clouds or stars. Before the fields turned to houses i could stare out at the fields towards the lake and wonder what lived before us in the area.  I helped to repaint the old swing a few times and always beg my mom to not get rid of it. I made her promise that i would the swing should anything happens to her.

When I met Josh's mom's side, I learned that his Aunt and Uncle had a wooden swing in their front yard. As the time went by often we would be greeted from either Duane or Diane on that swing when we went to visit. We visited often as they were in Madison and that was my place to get the "big city fix"  I always told Diane that I loved their swing.  I had hopes to get one when we were on the farm but there was never the money for it nor really a good location. Our front yard wasn't very flat and the carport was so busy with everything else that putting a big ol swing wasn't a good idea.
When we moved to the Lodge, Duane had passed away and Diane no longer had a good place for their swing, so she asked us if we would like it. I was so excited to get it. It fit perfectly with our wooden area and the lodge.

It just so happen that our septic cover was at the perfect spot to place the camera so we could take a family picture on the swing. I loved sitting on the swing while the kids played outside. In the afternoon the trailer would create shade so that i could be outside without sunburn. The kids would love to swing on it with me too. The cats would climb it to get to the roof of the trailer. Oh those silly cats! 

Even after Josh died we took pictures on it. It wasn't the same but we did it. The weeds were a bit more as i wasn't able to keep up with the yard as well as Josh did. The swing didn't get as much use in the last 6 months. Once we moved into the new house, we didn't go visit the trailer area. It was a bit hard to be back over there.  So the poor swing sat along in the weather.  The trailer is now being ready to be moved and so it was time for the swing to move. I was warned by some guys that it was pretty rotten and wasn't worth moving. That made me so sad. I even got the ok from Diane to junk it out. She knew how weathered it was, but still I had the high hopes of moving it. 

So I managed to get it loaded up on the skid steer. I got it moved down from the trailer to the new house. All in one piece. This was something that a year ago i never thought i would be able to do. 

Then I went to sit on it and the bottom busted off. My poor little swing had met it's maker. The support wasn't all working anymore, the bottom of it's broken, but yet I had hope for this little swing. This swing was more then a bunch of boards, it was memories of the past. Two men, a lifetime ago and a carefree time of security and hope. 

RIP little Swing 

Life Latley

So life has been crazy. Bella went to camp for a week, while I started back to school with teacher inservice days and a trip to Lancaster for some classes required by our church. Max got to hang out with the Ihm's while i was busy and it was nice to be back in our old area.  We also got to visit Great Grandma and Poppy.  Then suddenly Bella was back from Camp, we recovered from a cold and it was back to school. School hit us all hard.. it was a big adjustment..so very little time for anything other then school.  So here's my attempt to catch up on what we have been up too. 

It was cool for a bit..so we were outside enjoy the wonderful weather. The cows were enjoying the grass and the nice temps too. No Lily has not had her calf yet.. Sept 12th is her due date

We went fishing with our friends. No luck with getting a fish, but lots of fun playing with our poles and the playground

Farm girl!

We got to catch up with Fr Greg. He brought Bella some wonderful gifts for her brithday from World Youth day in Poland. We also got to hear about his trip and fill him in on us. 

We went to visit Daddy's grave before Bella left for camp. The kids now fill the bird feeder themselves. We also had to check otu the soybean field. 

Before she left for camp. 

Grandma came over to help me clean. Once we got everything cleaned up, we went to supper and to visit daddy's grave again. 

A visit to tractor supply. Max was tried and trying to nap on the bags of feed. 

Max with his outside cat, oreo

We are all back together again. I wish that josh was physically in the pictures. 6 months is too long to be without him. Things didn't go as plan so the celebration of life for tomorrow is cancelled, but I've decided to wait u til next summer. The kids amd I need to make it through the year of first. I've heard it's important for support in year two, too.
6 months has been the 2nd hardest date so far, the idea it gets better with time is wrong, at least for me so far. Life does go on and we persevere, but the heartache is like that of the day josh was called to heaven. So many first are about to come and I ache to be able to talk to him. Man, I know he would be so excited for all the changes and the house. In the last 6 months I've looked to the sky more to find any little sign of josh. Tonight he left us a pretty sunset. He also made clouds that looked like a plowed field. It's like love notes from the sky , letting me know he's all right. Tonight max asked "when do I get to go to heaven with daddy?" I told him only God knows but we pray he can grow old before he needs too.
I love you Josh ! 

my friends still wanted to see me even though i cancled the gathering i was suppose to have for Josh.  My mom watched a "sick" max so that i could go out and enjoy a little time by myself. 

Tracey, Andy, Elly and Drew came over too.. it turned into a birthday celebration for drew. I had ordered a cake for Josh, but we turned it into a cake for Drew. We played Pokemon Monpoly and checked out hte new house. 

Back to school night. No pictures of max because it was too crazy of a night and so hot and humid! 

Bella and I had dentist appointments, so max got to play in the waiting room before Bella got done and Nana took them home. 

Wednesday before school started  i was just beat. We were suppose to do stuff with friends, but i felt so awful that i knew i needed rest. I did tell the kids that we could go whereever they wanted to eat.. Bella wanted Pizza ranch. So we went. I was feeling better after the lazy morning. WE also hit up Cabala's since it was near by. 

we took a family shot in our new basement ;)

Then suddenly it was back to school! Bella in third grade, Max in Pre-k or 4 year old kindergarten. Both had great first days!  

Well we did it. Made it through the first day of school. I missed a lot of stuff, ran late and then felt guilty for not being with my kids for most of the day. it's an adjustment to say the least. Max had a great day and Bella says she did too. I'm the only one who thought "he should have been here" But then i arrived home to our pictures from Precious Moments Photography by Tanya Schwendinger, LLC and both kids were so excited to see the pictures of Daddy with us. Max stole the big and put it right by all his tractors. Even my kids go on, but know that Daddy is right there with them always.

My sweet girl!

First morning at school

Dressed in clothes from Drew..which made him happy

Max is 4

So Max you are turning 4. I’ll admit mommy has been looking forward to this, but you have not been. You say you are staying three. Matter of fact when I told you were four now, you cried and were so sad.

Max you are about 3ft 4 inchs  and about 35-40lbs. you don’t get to the doctor until beginning of Dec for official stats.EDIT: 34.5lbs 3ft 5inchs tall) you wear shirts from any size between 2t and 4/5, it mostly depends if it’s a John deere shirt or not. Pants are 3t and size 9.5 shoes. Your hair is still sandy blonde and gets cut about every three months. Someday your eyes match your sisters and other days I see them changing to the color of daddy’s.
The biggest thing that has happened since you turned three is you officially started School in September. You are not a preschooler at SJB . You saw your teacher a lot this summer, so you had no troubles going to school on your first day. The most troubles we have with you at school is you don’t want to leave. You go to school two days a week for three hours. That’s not long enough for you. You are learning letters, sounds, songs and how to share. You know your classmates and love your teacher. Sometimes you get to stay for lunch, while you don’t eat much you enjoy being one of the “big” kids. You are able to go to work with me now and stay and hang out at school. I think this is probably the one thing you love the most.
The biggest change has been your speech in the last year. You talk all the time now! Your vocabulary is huge and you use sentence. You still attend speech twice a week at Lake Mills. Max has to work on pronouction as he can’t say certain sounds. It’s so great to hear your little voice all the time.
Eatting is not a favorite thing to do unless it’s chocolate milk , cookie, cake or butter bread. thankfully though you have gotten good at sitting with us at the table while we pray and start eatting. baby steps. I hope by next year you will be willing to eat more.

Sleeping is going ok. You don’t like to sleep alone or in your bed. It’s something that just started in the last month, so I’m not sure why. So you often crawl inot your sister’s bed or come out the couch. You still nap 4 or 5 days a week. Daddy needs a nap too, you so both often sleep together.
You are all about John Deere, Tractors and diggers, skidsteers and dozers. IT’s fun to see you play pretend with your tractors. You love to “farm” and to dig! It’s even the theme for your birthday because you are so into it. You love watching live action movies with John Deere equipment in it. You have also learned the names of so many tractor models and can “read” John Deere anywhere we go !
I’m sure there is a lot I’m Missing, but Max you are such a fun and engertic little boy. You are starting to not want to roll with the punches as well as you did in the past. Thankfully though we are pretty good at finding a distraction that gets to do what we need. You don’t really know what’s going on with Daddy, but you picked up on when you need to be gentle and enjoying daddy in whatever you can. You love your sister and miss her when she is gone, but still can fight like cats and dogs. you just seem to light up the mood when it’s needed. I think God really did know giving us you when he did and still seems to use you to help us when times are tough. I’m hoping for four to be a great year.. at least I hope you will eventually be four.. if not we will stil with 3+1

Saturday June 6th

What a day we had.. We didn’t tell the kids anything until it happened, so the kids were both up by 6am. Josh made breakfast. Afterwards we all got dress and packed to go. We wanted to make it a fun family day…and that we did.

First up was the zoo! The kids had so much. We let them take turns picking where we went and what we did. We played on the playground, train and carousel. Well max did the Carousel. We are pretty sure it was his first time, as Bella always boycotted it at the zoo and he was sleeping at Disney. We got see the Polar Bears a lot! We also had a snack at the new Glacier Grill. IT was just a great time at the zoo.

Next up was a trip around Madison to go to Ella’s Deli for lunch. The kids weren’t sure what to make of the place other then they too had a carousel. Max was cranky because he was tired, but he managed to make it though.

 

Next up was a stop at a friends house to pick up some books. Which worked as a good distraction for Bella until we made it to our next stop, Cabela's . We finally made it to the new one where Josh picked out his father’s day gift. Bella got new bobbers, Max a paint your own John Deere Tractor and cinnamon pecans for me. I”ll admit it’s not as impressive as the one in Richfield and I think has less stuff then the Prairie du Chien one, but it’s the closest for us now. I do like they have a café in it. 

On the way home Max fell asleep, so we let him sleep once we got home. Poor Josh was in pain with his pain so he tried to ice and heat that before he headed off to church. He went tonight because I sing tomorrow and he had a big house project to get done Sunday.  Bella and I just relaxed until Josh got back home.

We had a “whatever you can find” supper. Seemed to work well for the kids. Then Josh suggested doing a bonfire. The kids loved that idea. So we all went down to do chores and get a bonfire going.  The kids had fun looking for sticks to for the fire. Then they would go off and play with toys. We roasted marshmallows and made smores. Max preferred plain marshmallows.  Once it go darker Bella asked for sparklers.. so we said sure! The kids had a blast with that. But we figured out why we had them left from last year..they smoked like crazy!

 

I also got a video of Max talking about our day