Back to School 2017

 Tuesday Sept 5th arrived and it was time to head back to school. This year I had a FOURTH Grader and a KINDERGARTEN! How is that possible?

 Lets see how the backpacks do this year. I scored one with Max's name on it for him this year.

 This little boy might not have his daddy to take him to school but he was all daddy.. Carhatt shirt and jeans. The camo boots are all his idea, but he follows the idea of quite a few of his favorite farmers who wear boots.

 This girl is getting so big.  She was so excite to head off to school

 We did stop for donuts and ate them in my classroom before the bell rang.

 First day of school classroom pictures

 We did post school ice cream. Growing up my mom would always bake a special dessert. It's not possible for me to do that, so we decided ice cream at Wedl's was our tradition :)

 Then this happened! 

A peek into kindergarten. A little rest time. I miss this little guy but so happy that i can see both him and his sister through out the day.

What a busy weekend. It was a good one, but still busy. I feel like I get a wee little bit of downtime and then everything is rush rush rush.  We had a 5 day weekend this past weekend. Well the kids did, teachers had to report for a seminar on Mindfulness and mental health. I know that it was suppose to be more about how to handle students, but I found it to be helpful for me. Grief has presented itself as a way for me to find me, and in doing so  I'm presented with different emotions that i don't normally deal with. My sounding block and the one who kept me sane is no longer here, which means i must deal with everything on my own. It also means changes in me.  I don't want to change, but i feel like it's for the better down the road. So that was my friday. The kids got to enjoy the day with Nana and had a blast.
Saturday we headed up to sheboygan to see the family up there. We did a cookout at Aunt Rachel's and then just hung around Grandma's. It was perfect and relaxing. The kids had fun and it was nice catching up.

 Sunday it rained in the morning, but we lazed around Grandma's house and got to enjoy waffles and bacon. THen as we got up and moving the the rain stopped. Sun was shining as we got to the wade house.  The kids had a great time and we met up with Aunt Rachel, Uncle Joel, Alex and Sam.

I'm so lucky for Uncle Ben. The kids have so much fun with him and he does a great job with them. Hopefully we will be able to do more with him as the kids get older,too!
today was a so so day. We got stuff done at my mom's house, visited Josh's grave and got stuff done at home. I'm learning how much i can do on my own and who is there to help me.  It's still very hard for me to be alone. Today i wanted to go fishing with the kids, but I have no clue where to go, can't take off a fish and missing our poles. I miss that the most. Being outside doing things as a family. Josh was such an outdoors sportsman and i want to pass that on to my kids.   I've been trying to let things happen as they are meant to be and not stress over what i can't do, so i'm praying that there will be answer to my prayer of something to be outdoors with us.
***edit****
Missing pictures from Monday :(

3 months one day

3 months and 1 day ago ....the feeling that you are coming back at any moment is fading. Your forever resting place now has a place for us to sit and remember. The kids have grand ideas on how to decorate. It's my saving grace after a rough work day. I miss you, Josh and love you forever. Know that the kids and I are moving on and we know you are right beside us. 😘😇💞

This is what i posted on Facebook.  Some how i missed 3 months.. but ya know, Josh was still living on the 27th..it was the 28th that was the first real day without him. That was the day that was surreal. 3 months without Josh has been hard, i'm not going to sugar coat it. Adjusting to single parenthood is way harder then i though. All the things that i took for granted having Josh around. At the same time Bella, Max and I have all grown. I have mange to figure out finances (sorta, still a lot ot change on that angle), managed to work the rest of the school year while dealing with just me and the kids, lined up the starting of our dream house, working on plans to get things easier for me with the animals and the yard and braved our first family vacation without Josh. Made it hrough a few family events without him too. The kids have learned to help out more around the house, play together well and be there for each other. We are all growing and learning while we know that Josh is with us. It's almost a game these days to find daddy when we do something special. 

In honor of three months I took the kids to see Josh's grave, to add some special touches to it.

looking at ants

watering the flowers that don't stand much of a chance

our family

checking out the bird house that max picked out. 

9 years

Today was our 9 year anniversary. I tried to keep the day full. I made a coffee day with a friend after we went to school mass together.  I went and got tulips for my house and Josh's grave, which i saved for with the kids. I went home and tried to get a fence put up around the bale feeder for the cows.  I did come home to some lovely flowers. I"ll admit i dreaded going just about anywhere for the fear of flowers would od me in.
I decided to leave Max at school so i went to work early. I arrived there to more flowers. Thankfully i didn't have to explain to too many people. Then i got two more sets of flowers.. those did me in, as one was from Josh. I'll admit i lost it. so not a good place or idea to work that day. I should have known better.  This first are getting harder not easier.
Thankfully I had two great teacher/friends who helped me out until i was ready to return to work.  Once I did i held Max pretty much the whole time. Poor Boy was just done with school. Which i can't blame him. he went from only going 3 hours twice a week to doing 3 hours 3 times a week and at least another 4 hours after school.
When Work was over, we went to the cemetery  to put the tulips on Josh's grave. Then it was on to pizza at Pizza Hut. The kids loved that. It was something different but yet a restaurant that Josh always loved going too.
We came home and watched the wedding DVD and cuddled with our Daddy Dolls.
I had some crazy anniversarys but i'll admit this was the one with the most tears.

Love you forever!

The pretty flowers that were at my front door

at least this version of Josh is cuddly

Totally forgot it was a speical first communion Mass in honor of the 2nd graders. 

Pretty girls

Our egg and flowers.

Picture of us all together 

at Pizza hut.. chocolate milk and breaksticks for this guy

my flowers from Josh.. Tulips. Only time of year i got them from him since they were in season. 

The day he went home to God

Joshua Adam Warpinski

July 31st 1983- February 27th 2016

Beloved Husband, Father and Son

On the afternoon of February 27 2016, God welcomed into his eternal kingdom Joshua Adam Warpinski, age 32, from Lake Mills, WI.  He bravely fought a four year battle with pancreatic cancer before going to his eternal rest at Rainbow Hospice in Johnson Creek, WI.

Josh was born on July 31^st, 1983, to Martin Warpinski and Della Jahnke, at their home in Lancaster, WI.  He was the second oldest of six children.  As a child, he enjoyed being active, getting involved in hunting and fishing, working with farm animals, and participating in wrestling at school.  Josh graduated from Lancaster High School in 2002, and went on to study at Southwest Technical College.  In 2007, he married Katie (Allen) of Watertown, WI. Together in 2008 they purchased Brownie Farms in Stitzer, WI to fulfil Josh’s dream of being a organic dairy farmer. .  In 2008, they welcomed into the world their first child, a daughter named Isabella Marie, and in 2011 their family grew again with the birth of their son, Maxon Charlie.  They moved to Lake Mills, WI in 2014, after a recurrence of cancer, and Josh began work in construction and electrical assembly of Eaton.  He actively involved himself at Saint Clements Catholic Parish in Lancaster, WI, and then at Saint Francis of Assisi Catholic Parish in Jefferson, WI, as an usher and a Knight of Columbus, and lived his Catholic faith in every aspect of his life.

He leaves behind his loving wife, Katie, and two children, Isabella and Maxon.  He will also be greatly missed by his father, Martin and Judy Warpinski, his mother Della Jahnke, his sister Kara and Anthony Stewart, his sister Rachel and Joel Sandersen and their children, Alexandria and Samuel, his brother Jeremiah and Kimberly Warpinski and their son Xander, his brother Benjamin Warpinski, his sister Olivia Warpinski, his Mother-in-law Mary Allen, his sister-in-law Tracey and Andrew Fox and their children Sara, Elyse, and Drew, his step-sisters Jennifer and Daniel Ward, Jill and Marc Reichardt, and Melody Dobson, his grandmother Mary Ruth Warpinski, his grandparents Clifford and Ruby Jahnke, his many godchildren, aunts and uncles, and cousins, and his beloved blue truck.

 He is preceded in death by his grandfather Louis Warpinski, his aunt Karen Winrich, his aunt Rosella Jahnke, and his Uncle Duane Jahnke.

Services will be held on Saturday,March 5, 2016 at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Jefferson, WI.  In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to St. John the Baptist School, or a trust account for the family at Premier Bank in Jefferson, WI.

Gilda's and Legos

at gildas with josh . this would be the last time he would go. It would turn out to be that he opened up and really expressed his feelings. I'm so glad that he was able to do that. I know he only went to Gildas for me and the kids, but he got a bond out of it too.

Lego fun. I would find fun little put together things for the kids to do with Josh. Sometimes he would get so frustrated with Max's as Max often took them back apart. But just to have those moments of knowing Daddy did something special with them is what they will keep in mind. Bella being the big kid she is, did hers herself and then showed it of to daddy.